7 pounds 1 week

I am a member of Slimming World which is an absolutely AMAZING weight loss program... www.slimmingworld.us
Anyway, I have been a member for a year, but have really messed around and did not follow the eating plan and fell off the wagon and gained a little weight back... SO... I decided I was not going to let my life be lived fat anymore... I decided to only eat what Slimming World calls "Super Slimming" foods last week. If it was not super slimming, it did not pass my lips... Well, it paid off... I lost 7 pounds in one week!!!!! CRAZY!!! So I am really excited about that...
I miss junk food because this is the FIRST time in my life that I have gone 100% without junk food. I really thought about it though...
I spend approximately 30 minutes eating a meal. I eat 3 times a day... maybe 4... So that is 90 mins to 2 hours a day that I am LOVING putting that food in my mouth... But then, I have 22.5 hours left in the day... During that 22.5 hours I am fat and uncomfortable and sad that I am this way. I even spend time obsessing over what I will eat next meal... Some of you might be thinking that I am asleep during part of this time... but I think I probably have undiagnosed sleep apnea due to my weight so even when I am sleeping I am miserable because of fat... I don't get good sleep so I am tired the next day and my short term memory, which used to be razor sharp, is now foggy... So you see, the 22.5 hours that I trade off for the 1.5 hours of pure pleasure is not worth it... I would rather have 24 hours of happiness than the euphoria / high of eating...
Anyway, so 7 pounds! Crazy!
PS I have not been able to attend Overeaters Anonymous due to scheduling issues... so no meetings for me for a while. I guess this will be Slimming World only for a while...

Abusive boyfriend...

Food is my abusive boyfriend...
I love it and feel like I need it...
It treats me well when I am good...
When I am bad, my food beats me down...
Food is slowly killing me...
Food, you lower my self esteem...
Food, You make me feel guilty...
Food, you feel so good inside me...
Food, I keep coming back to you...
My friends and family warn me about you...
My dr asks if I need help...
The worse I feel, the more I need you...
And the cycle of abuse starts again...
Any self respecting woman would leave you...
But apparently I don't have self respect...
I just have an addiction to you...
Maybe I deserve this food for all I have endured...
Maybe I deserve the punishment food brings...
Food you are calling me, and I am resisting...
for now...
How long before I run back into your arms...
Let you have your way with me...
Feel like you have changed...
Believe that I can do this...
I can have my cake and eat it too...
I can have junk food in moderation...
I can have my abusive boyfriend if he promises to change...
I believe these things...
But they are all lies...
My Food AKA Abusive boyfriend is killing me again...
Slowly ripping my life away...
The more I give in to my food, the less I leave the house...
Does it matter if I am a glutton if I never leave the house and no one sees the marks he left behind.
When food is abusing you, the marks are apparent.
The rolls of fat..
The cellulite...
The stains on your shirt...
The aching joints...
The eventual diabetes...
The high blood pressure...
Food and me love each other...
I can feel the love in my heart...
As the life is sqeezed away by food...